Check the DM’s

It’s been quite a while since I’ve had one of those really vivid dreams that I still remember when I wake up, or the ones that wake me from my sleep. This morning I had one.

In my dream I remember getting a call from a male friend telling me that he had checked the messages of his s/o (significant other) and he found that she had been unfaithful to him. I’m not sure if that meant physically or just that she had been chatting and interacting with another man in ways that were inappropriate for their relationship.

Anyway, he seemed so heart broken as he told me what he had found and was devastated. So much that the had not reached out to tell me until a few weeks or maybe a month or so after he found out. He asked me what he should do because their relationship had been rocky almost from the jump, and he had considered leaving her not too long ago anyway. He asked if things were worth fighting for, was there anything worth saving. My only answer to him was “I can’t answer that for you”, he somewhat tearfully then said “have I been fighting to save something for all these months that wasn’t supposed to be, did I get into this relationship because I wanted to be in one and she fit the picture I had in my head”. I again replied “I can’t answer that, only you know the answers”.

I was heartbroken for my friend and wanted to be there to help him through this period and to comfort him, yet I also didn’t want to cross any boundaries because I think I’m already pretty much persona non-grata or off limits for him to interact with as friends – which sucks.

I remember the words and the feeling and hope that he is ok.

We don’t do public affection

(This was a dream from January 2015)

I had the craziest dream in the early/mid morning hours. Before I get into it, let me paint the scene and people involved (names of places and people have been changed for obvious reasons):

1. Scene: In an office building (did I work there? It seemed familiar and comfortable to me). The building seemed to remind me of the Big Cable Building (which I have never been in, so I’m not sure why it reminded me of it) or Freedom Place with the main level full of small sit-down restaurants and shops and shop-carts lining the outside walkway of the main level, with desks for working. It was modern and nice.

2. People: Me, Dante and Will (who looked just like Dante’s friend at Big Bank) and Isis. Everyone was dressed pretty casual. Dante in a white t-shirt and jeans, Will in a dark colored suit and I don’t remember what Isis had on. I was in a white t-shirt and sweats (my favorite ones that stop under the knee and are form fitting).

3. Here’s what happened: I was in the building walking around, it must have been a different day because the clothes I had on were a little more dressy and I was actually looking at the art and browsing. As I was doing so, I saw Dante and Isis in one of the restaurants. I stopped for a second and thought about going over to say hi, but then the following thoughts crossed my mind: “It might be a work thing, so don’t disturb” and “hmm, they look really comfortable or I guess more like they were having a pretty intense or private conversation, so again don’t disturb” and lastly “hmm, she just reached for his hand, so it’s probably a personal conversation and it’s not my place to get mad, he and I aren’t dating, so don’t disturb”. So I left. Kind of upset or in my feelings so to speak. Later we, (me and Dante) were in my care and he left behind some keys. So fast forward a bit, and I’m back at the building but this time I’m in the sweats (as described above) and sitting at a desk doing some work on my laptop. I get up to stretch my legs a bit and behold, who do I spot in the restaurant again – Dante and Isis. This time looking even cozier than the last time. This time I don’t really care what the reason for the “meeting” is. I walk over to them, put the keys down on the table in front of him and leave without saying a word. I don’t know if my face looked angry, bothered or what it looked like. After doing that I go back to my desk and start working again. Some time later I’m looking at a piece of paper for RANDOM (some not to be named nonprofit) (I can see the logo) when suddenly someone grabs (kind of gently pulls) the paper out of my hand. I look up and it’s Isis standing there with Dante and Will. She says “we need to talk”. I replied back “no we don’t. whatever he (referring to Dante) does is his business. I’m not his girlfriend, and we’re not dating. He’s free to do whatever he wants with whomever he wants. I’m not mad at him. I don’t know what you two are doing, but he’s free to do whatever. Those are his keys, he left in my car and I’m just returning to them and going about my own business.” She the proceeds to tell me that she’s Will’s girlfriend and has been for the past 6 years. They’re going thru a rough spot and Dante was doing some kind of mediation, running some interference to talk with her. Will was meeting them later (which he did) and then she talked about what they were going through and all I really heard was blah blah blah. I didn’t care or need to know this stuff. I didn’t know these people and didn’t need to know their business. I responded back to her “that’s great. those are his keys and I assume he needs them so I returned them.” She then continues to talk and again all I hear is blah blah blah, while thinking about all the work I should be doing, if not for her/their interrupting me. Suddenly out of nowhere Dante grabs my hand. In my head my only thought is ‘what’s going on, we don’t do this, we don’t do public and we definitely don’t do public affection’. And then I woke up.

(I don’t like not knowing how the stories in my dreams end).

All in a dream

It was near 1am, and I was tired. So tired that I peeled myself off the couch after dozing off earlier, turned off the lights in the living room and went upstairs to bed. As I entered my room, I thought to myself, I can’t be this lazy my hair is too cute to sleep with it out so I took the time to wrap it. After the amazingly long 2 minutes it took to wrap my hair, I finally made my way to my room. I’m not sure why I was so tired, but I was. I stood there and as I was getting out of my clothes I thought to myself, you know what, I’m sleeping in my panties and not putting anything else on. And so I climbed into bed, with my hair carefully wrapped with nothing but my panties on.

The blanket I laid under felt so good. I think I feel asleep within 45 seconds.

Sometime during the night, I started dreaming. Most nights I don’t remember my dreams, but last night I saw this dream very vividly. Depending on your point of view, here’s where things either go so wrong or so very right.

I remember laying in bed and suddenly there were other people, yes people in the plural sense, in the bed with me and my panties. At this point, I have to note that we were laying in bed head to feet (as illustrated below), with the exception of one person who was laying directly behind me.

Style: "A"
How the “people” were laying

As I realized there was another person directly behind me, all of the other people seemed to disappear, or maybe I just didn’t care that they were there. I knew the person behind me. He was familiar. He was comforting, and he was there – with me. I could feel his breath gently on the back of my neck. I could feel myself starting to smile, I think I was physically smiling in real life as I was dreaming. I didn’t want to disturb this moment but I wanted to make sure that he was there. So I reached behind me to feel him, and I did indeed feel him.

I had accidentally reached behind me and felt his, umm, yeah his penis and it was glorious. For some reason, I started to massage his penis and felt it go hard in my hand.

It was at that point that I woke up… and the dream was gone, although the memories of laying next to someone familiar and comforting remained.

Either I’ve had some really great, ahem, sessions in the past or the 300 and some odd days of not having sex are starting to get to me.